I’ve always loved road trips from when I was a kid. I loved travelling to the countryside by road because of the view, seeing the different things being sold on the way, the animals – domesticated (cows, goat, sheep) or wild (baboons, zebra). I still love this road trip as an adult for the same reasons but now I treasure that experience more because its not every day you get to see that scenic view and I realise just how special it is.
Its wedding season (finally!) so I took a trip to the countryside. On the way I started feeling a scratchy sensation in my food pipe area. I’ve never had that before and though it was uncomfortable, I was thankful it wasn’t a sore throat. There is one ailment I hate and that is a sore throat. Mine are painful, uncomfortable and restrict me from talking. I can take a blocked nose, runny nose, sneezes, cough, I’ll even say diarrhoea, but I never want a sore throat.
I have allergies to dust and with some of the journey being very dusty, I decided to wear my mask to prevent me from getting a sore throat or any further symptoms. By the time we reached the countryside, I could tell things were changing. Drinking water was now causing a sort of burning sensation in my food pipe area. One thing I love doing when I’m ill is to drink hot drinks (concoction of stuff) or water. So, I thought to myself if I can’t take simple water what will I do?
I decided to have some diced garlic and continued with the hot lemon grass tea which I love like cake. Later on, I could feel I would get a cough and stocked up at the pharmacy. By that evening the very thing I dreaded, came on. I got a sore throat. I couldn’t believe it because the reason I had come to the countryside that day was to attend a wedding the next day. How can I be sick and not go after all the planning and travelling.
One thing I am when I’m sick is miserable. I am not jolly, start feeling sorry for myself and woe is me. I prayed to God and lamented I am tired of being sick. I already have this ongoing long-term illness that I’m dealing with and now this sore throat. I forgot to mention my sore throats don’t end there. I’ll get mucus then blocked nose, then all that goes to my chest which then affects my asthma. All this is why I dread sore throats. I lamented to God how I’ve been ill too many times this year. Just in November I was ill and for weeks. Was just recovering then this in December, when wedding season is beginning. June I was ill again and January too I had been ill.
When my ongoing long-term illness started, one thing I was grateful for was all my other usual ailments disappeared or never troubled me for 2 years! God is good! So, in January when I got the first episode, I thought may be this is the beginning of the end. It wasn’t. June, I thought the same nothing. November nothing. December? To be confirmed. I lamented to God and said I can’t live like this. Something needs to change. What should I do?
Later that night the sore throat was in full throttle to the point I couldn’t sleep. Eventually I got to sleep and off course soon after it was time to wake up and get ready for the wedding. I decided I would go to the ceremony and miss the reception. There was no way I was going to miss the whole thing. I went, had a good time and ended up staying past the ceremony. Later I could feel, the tide was turning again. I decided to go home. True enough, I went downhill. My chest was now tight, and I didn’t want to have any conversations because that was making me out of breath. I took my tail to bed and prayed. It was a similar prayer as the previous night. God I am tired of being sick, I am just tired, I want to be free. What should I do?
I started reflecting on my lifestyle and identified that I need to work on my sleep. I sleep late and sometimes haven’t been getting quality sleep and all this can have an effect on your immune system. In my human reasoning this is what I thought, I should do. Thankfully the sore throat went, and I slept much better than the previous night. I woke up later and decided to do online church. When the preacher (Pastor Jonathan Maangi) came on, I could tell this was going to be a good sermon (delivery and message potency). I was attentive, it was all going in and I soon realised what was happening.
“If you want to live a healthy life you must guard your heart”. I can categorically tell you, many times, I get spiritual epiphanies or spiritual aha moments that leave me “clobbered” and I’ll say “Ok Jesus Clobber me” or “Yaani Jesus you’re going to clobber me like that? Anyway, I need it.” With that statement of guarding your heart to live healthy, I dint feel clobbered, but I thought “…. okay, but I thought I’m guarding my heart…” May be not.
I started thinking about it and decided I could do better with stress management, life-doesn’t-go-as-you-want management, small-things-that-should-just-go-right-but-decide-not-to management, because may be these are the things that are taking a toll on my body. In addition to this, the emotional issues that may be only God and I know about, maybe I’m carrying them unconsciously or haven’t fully surrendered them yet to the Great Problem Carrier and Solver. Full surrender I believe comes with full trust and the preacher had said “you can’t trust God until your heart is in tune with heaven.” Heh!
Needless to say, that sermon led me to scratch my head because may be what I thought I was doing I am not, which is not surprising as a human being. And this great task of trusting God, so that I can fully surrender, so that I don’t have to carry any emotional baggage that I am not to carry, because God is fully capable of carrying them himself and knows why he designed it that way, because in my example, it may be affecting my health.
I am going to let the Divine Counsellor and Teacher continue to teach me this syllabus of guarding my heart and tuning it to heaven so I can trust God fully and live this life of excellent health that I desire on this side of heaven. One thing I know, is God will work it out and another thing I came to find out through this sermon, though I’m not clear on how I will execute it, is yet again God answered my prayer. Yes, the sore throat went, yes, I’m left with symptoms I prefer to deal with but when I asked him two nights in a row, what should I do so I can be in great physical health, on the third day in the morning, he sent me a message saying, “We can’t be physically fit, when our hearts are hurting.”
I have every confidence I will one day come back with the sequel of this testimony. I will share what I discovered was going on in my heart because right now I don’t think consciously I know what that is, but I am willing and committed to go through the syllabus and guard my heart, because at the end of it I will be excellently physically fit. Praise God Hallelujah! Praise God amen!
Related Verses
Psalm 55:22, Matthew 11:28-30, 1 Peter 5:7, Psalm 27:14, Proverbs 4:23
#GuardYourHeart #PhysicallyFit #AnsweredPrayers #Clobbered #Lament #TrustGod #Illness #Ailments #LongtermConditions #Healing
Comentários